Exhibit X - Roxie Hart's Diary
by GerceChon
Summary: Diary entries from Roxie's diary from when she stayed at Cook Country Jail. Set during and after the movie. Roxie/Velma femslash. THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC SO DON'T EXPECT MUCH! I would rate it about a T for some implied sexual content and some colourful language.
1. Chapter 1 - April 12 to May 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago or any of the characters (do I really have to say this?!)**

**This is my first fanfiction ever, so don't expect it to be all that great...But everyone starts somewhere right? I was reading a bunch of Chicago fanfics and I really like the idea of Roxie/Velma, I don't really know why though. They're just too good for anyone else LOL. I'm guessing that she stays there for about three months or so, I don't know if that's a reasonable amount of time or not, let's just say it is. :/ Critique is welcome, even if it's not praise! (well be polite at least) I guess I'll put three entries in one chapter as I update, more or less**

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**April 12, 1924**

Velma is ruining my life. I tried being nice to her at first, doing her laundry and whatnot, but she just barked in my face and told me to stay away from her. Fine for me, I'll just make friends with the foreign lady who keeps praying in who-knows-what language. I don't know, to be honest I want to get along with Velma because I look up to her; her fame, her fortune, her talent is all I've ever wanted. I thought she would be different, but she's selfish and thinks she queen bee of the goddamn universe. I'm really trying hard to not admire her, but I don't understand why it's so difficult.

**April 20, 1924**

I talked to Billy today, and he's got a great story planned out. I guess history can change itself now that I actually shot Fred in self-defense because we both reached for the gun. He told me that I'm going to have my name in the front page of all of the papers. Never thought that killing some lying bastard would help me achieve all of this glory. I can't believe Amos actually paid Billy off considering what I've done to him. Well actually I can... I mean, he's the epitome of a doormat. Velma seemed so angry that I stole her precious lawyer; all he's paying attention to is me now. Even though I'm enjoying pissing her off, I sort of feel guilty at the same time. How the hell is Velma going to get off the hook? Even though she's denying it, it's pretty obvious that she killed them and the jury will see that. Who's going to buy her "I blacked out" shit? She might be Mr. Flynn's first lost cause. I don't like the bitch, but I don't want her hanged at all. I'm still hoping that there's some way we could turn our relationship around. I don't know…..I'll just wait it out.

**May 1, 1924**

Velma asked me to replace Veronica in her act. THE Velma Kelly wants to do an act with me. I had to pinch myself three times before I was convinced that it was really happening. I wanted to scream yes and wrap my arms around her neck, but I have more pride than that. She just wants me because I've stolen all of her publicity. I've used my fair share of people and have been used myself, and I'm not going to be a tool. I think I did the right thing by rejecting her; I have some dignity in me. Maybe calling her fat was a bit much, though…. I'd much rather have her sexy curves any day over my bony frame. God, she's so beautiful, she could make any man kill to have her in bed (oh, the irony.) When I looked back at her, she just looked like her heart was broken. I felt awful, but that was retaliation for what she made me feel like the whole time I've been here. Is that justifiable, though?


	2. Chapter 2 - May 8 to May 16

**Author note: Ughh...spring break ends in a couple days so I might not be able to update as often as I like...blach...**

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**May 8, 1924**

Let me get this straight; she "wants" me to do an act with her yet she doesn't trust my word? Last night she accused me of stealing her bracelet, and when insisted that I didn't, she didn't believe me. She rolled up my sleeves of my silk robe and checked my wrists and dug through my pockets. Though, her hands were awfully soft and warm… Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what am I saying?! She was aggressively searching me when I told her to stop, and that's violating me, isn't it? I should tell Mama to do something about it…unless I have to pay her for that….whatever, forget it. This might sound weird, but I felt really tingly, in a good way, when she ran her hand over my hips and into my side pockets. When she found nothing on me, she cupped my chin up so we made intense eye contact, and she growled, "If you have anything to do with this, I swear I will rearrange your pretty little face." Obviously she was threatening me, but for some reason, I didn't want her to take her hands off of me. It felt….calming? I think I'm going crazy to actually want to be that close to that psycho. Whatever, we have a new inmate now. Kitty Baxter, the pain in the ass who almost stole my name's place in the front pages, but luckily I came up with the brilliant idea of me being pregnant and how I want to save the life of my "unborn baby". I bet Billy would've never come up with something like that, huh?

**May 11, 1924**

This is not good. Lately I've been thinking about Velma, too much to be comfortable. I've been dreaming about her, and they're not exactly dreams where we hate each other like we do in reality. Last night in my dream, we kissed, and I actually ENJOYED it. Soon kissing led to unbuttoning her blouse and other things that would be unthinkable in actuality. When I woke up, I was disgusted but at the same time, very turned on. Her lips tasted so sweet, and looking into her fantastical eyes made me melt. And I let her win me over, but I would NEVER EVER allow that in the waking world. I know this is just my mind playing dirty tricks on me, but it felt so much more intimate that whenever I was with Fred, and that's saying a lot considering the sex between Fred and I was pretty good. With Amos….well it was like getting chummy with cellophane, if that makes any sense. This is just insane; you can't fantasize about someone you detest…especially when they're a woman, and a dangerous one at that. This isn't right!

**May 16, 1924**

These wet dreams about me and Velma are ruining my life! I don't want to think about Velma in that way, but it's all that's on my mind nowadays. Whenever I pass by her, I feel my cheeks flush 10 shades redder and my voice cracks and gets really high. I'm able to tell the difference between the Velma in real life and the one in my dreams, but I just can't deny this feeling of desire for her. Sometimes she catches me staring at her and she just scoffs and walks away. I have to ask myself half the time whether or not I want to punch her in the face or rip her shirt off (and by that, I don't actually mean causing more pain for her).


	3. Chapter 3 - May 20 to June 4

**OMG SCHOOL IS KILLING ME...UGH. This may not be the best story ever, but I'm gonna keep writing until it's done! Hope you like it :)**

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**May 20, 1924**

I can't believe what I did. I kissed Velma. Not dream Velma, the real one. We were screaming at each other for god-knows-what and she pinned me against the wall, and she looked me straight in the eye and said she hated me. We always remind each other of our hatred, but this time was different and I don't know why. I wanted to scream the same words back at her, but all I felt were my eyes welling up. For some reason, the evil smirk on her face disappeared, and she loosened her grip on me. I couldn't stop the hot tears and anger and disappointment from streaming down my cheeks. She started to back away slowly, and turned away to go to her cell. I stopped her, and asked if she actually meant what she said. She replied with, "I don't know", but for some reason I took that as a no. And that's when I pulled her in. I could feel her eyes widen in shock as I tasted her lips. I pulled away really quickly to keep from embarrassing myself any further. I don't know how I'm going to face her tomorrow. She probably hates me and she's probably going to tell everyone about it and how pathetic I am. Not wanting to look back, I cried on the way back to my cell. I guess this is what happens when you act on impulse...

**May 28, 1924**

Billy gave me this god-awful dress today that makes me look like a fricken' lampshade and said that I have to wear it in court while knitting. What kind of a dumbass is he? I was the one who came up with the idea of me being pregnant and now all of Chicago loves me. I don't need him; I can defend myself in front of the judge in two weeks. After I fired Billy, I saw Velma at the end of the hallway talking to Mama. I didn't want to run into her, so I ran the other way. I would've gotten away if only I didn't trip over a stupid chair. Billy saw and mocked me, which caught Velma's attention. I caught a glimpse of her speed-walking my way, so I scrambled to my feet. While trying to pull away, she managed to get a grip on my wrist. Next thing I know she had shoved me into a closet and she's biting into my lower lip. I couldn't believe what was happening; it was just like my dreams, only better. My head was up in the clouds, and I returned the kiss with overwhelming passion. It lasted for what seemed like hours. When she pulled away, I noticed adoration gleaming in her deep brown eyes. She didn't say a word to me when she stormed out. I don't know what that means for us now, but I think I'm in love with her. I know it's crazy because just two weeks ago I told her I wanted her swinging, but the way I feel about her is how I wanted to feel around Amos or Fred, but I never actually cared for either of them the way I do about Velma. She kissed me today, so that has to mean she likes me now, right? Or maybe she's just playing with my feelings, but I don't want to think about that.

**June 4, 1924**

They hanged the Hunyak; I can't believe it. Out of all of the people in Murderess's Row, I was certain that she was the only one innocent of any crime. But she couldn't afford a lawyer, so she lost her appeal. How screwed up is this city? I have to get Billy back; he needs to be there for my trial next week or else fate will have the same thing in store for me. I really don't know if I should keep this thing with Velma going. One minute we're alone and her hand is crawling up my thigh, and before I realize it someone walks in and then she slaps me in the face so hard that I turn into a tomato. Then I punch her or whatever to reciprocate the feeling. I don't want to hurt her, and she said that she feels awful about causing me pain, but we can't let anyone know about us. Everyone thinks that the "baby" is Amos'. The court already knows I cheated on him with Fred; if they found out I've been messing around with Velma, they won't have any sympathy and that'll be the death of me. Velma and I don't talk much when we're alone, mostly because we're using our mouths to do other things. I want to tell her how serious my feelings are for her, but I always feel like it's the wrong time to do so. I guess the thing between us is just physical, for now at least. I don't want to mess this up, especially not by getting hanged or doing something to cause the same thing to happen to her. If I get Billy back on board, that might not be a problem anymore, but I need him NOW.


	4. Chapter 4 - June 10

**Author Note: This is a short one...I didn't want to put too much in this chapter because the pacing would just feel off. To me anyways...so yeah...Finally the weekend is here. Time to watch some Community for the whole day :)**

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**June 10, 1924**

Well, I don't know how much longer I can keep my friends-with-benefits thing with Velma a secret. We're feeling each other up in the closet when suddenly the door opens and Mama's there. I guess the lock on that door doesn't work anymore. Mama's all like "You're not gonna slit each other's throats, are you?" with a questionable look in her eyes. Our clothes were ripped pretty badly; from Mama's point of view, we were either having a catfight or "foolin' around". So Velma punched me in the boob really hard, and I slapped her face even harder. Then Mama broke up the "fight" and told us to cool down or she'd lock us in our cells until tomorrow. I now have a bruise on my left breast and I think Velma's face is still red like a strawberry patch. We both try to keep this secret to the point where we pummel each other, with either our actions or our words, for other people to see. I overheard her talking to Annie and the other girls while playing poker, and my god, I wanted to cry. She went on and on about how much of a "whore" I was and how I was stealing everything from her. I know it's all for show, it's just that sometimes it seems like she actually means it. If she isn't, she really should look into acting… I wish loving someone wasn't so complicated…..but we both have reputations to protect and I can't let anyone know about us. If I know Velma, she's probably going to tell Mama all about how she thinks I'm the biggest lying slut this town has ever seen. I've stolen her garter for the trial tomorrow, so she'll probably go on a rant about that. My trial's tomorrow, and the bottle's spinning but I'm not confident about what it will point to. I just need to stay calm and follow Billy's advice: Sit still, look straight ahead but NOT at the jury, and keep my mouth shut. I'm still feeling uneasy about everything…

I guess I feel a little bit better now that Velma just walked by my cell and whispered me a goodnight.

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_What a laugh plugging Fred Casely. The big baboon had it coming. I'm just sorry that I only got to kill him once._

_Fred Casely had assured me he'd get me an audition at the Onyx. Then he reneged on his pledge, and that was my motive for attacking him._

_Amos accused me of having an affair, so I told him the charge was erroneous._

I really want to kill Billy right now…..


	5. Chapter 5 - June 11 to July 6

**June 11, 1924**

He could've fricken' mentioned his plan before I went to court earlier today. Billy sent this book to Mama anonymously and wrote that crap in the last page so he could accuse Harrison of forging it in. That was actually really clever, but that money-hungry bastard still didn't effin' say anything about it beforehand. I can't believe Velma actually testified against me so she would get free. If it was up to her, I'd be swinging right now. Why did I ever even think of her as a friend (with benefits)? I actually thought I had feelings for her, but it's not like it matters now. The two-faced lunatic used me like the dumb tool I am to get off the hook. If she even thinks I'm gonna go crawling back to her, she could go to hell for all I care! The worst part of today is that the press didn't even want my picture after my trial was over! Instead they kept following some prick that killed a guy right outside the courthouse. Amos left me, and though I don't miss him much, now I have no place to sleep. Now I'm staying at the filthiest motel room ever with no money to my name, instead. I'll just have to audition for a gig and get a job as a waitress or something to pay the bills nowadays.

**July 6, 1924**

They didn't even let me finish my damn song and they still rejected me?! It's been weeks since I got off, and I can't land a gig at all. Maybe I should've just gone back to Amos….but I don't want to live with that dope anymore. He doesn't want me, and I don't want him. I never really felt anything about him, and I don't really remember why I married him in the first place. Desperation, I guess. I needed a roof over my head. Being a chorus girl was exciting and all that, but it wasn't enough for me. I couldn't get a decent apartment and I just wanted more; I wanted to be center stage. Living with Amos for 4 years was boring as hell; I just felt like I was wasting my life away. He loved everything about me, but I just couldn't give the same attention for him. When Fred promised me a vaudeville act from his so-called manager pal, I was so naïve to believe that I could actually be a star. Then all hell broke loose, and then the Velma thing happened…..and now I'm here. Being a waitress was terrible. Men randomly grab your ass and make lewd remarks and you can't backtalk, or you lose your job like I did. What else am I supposed to do for money now? Maybe I'm not cut out to be the great, grand or swell jazz singer I've always dreamed of. Maybe I should just give up…..But I don't have anything to lose now, so what's the point? I really don't want to sleep with someone just to have a bed, but the choices look grim….

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**Just hoping someone recognized the Into the Woods line ;)**


	6. Chapter 6 - July 8 to July 10

**Two more chappy's and then I'm done this story :) Maybe I'll write some Batman stuff after**

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**July 8, 1924**

I'm so glad that Velma found me. She's letting me stay in her apartment now that we're gonna be in an act together. It's funny; when I saw her standing there after my failed audition, the last thing I wanted was to share the stage with her for EVERY SINGLE NIGHT after what she did to me in the trial. But we both need money, as I could tell earlier with her torn up stockings. How she can still afford this apartment is a mystery to me, but I'm guessing she cut her clothing budget to have a place to live. I don't think it's possible to ever truly hate her, no matter what she does to me. I know how she really likes to be the center of attention, so I'm really grateful that she's willing to share the spotlight. She's making my wildest dreams come true, right before I was about to screw around with some scumbag just so I could live with him, too. But I still have a burning desire to know why she testified against me in court. I don't really know if I should ask, though. She could kick me out any time she wants to, after all. I'm sleeping in Veronica's old bed tonight, which makes me a lucky girl since Velma was planning on selling it tomorrow. I hope living with her is going to be all right.

**July 10, 1924**

Man, what a rush! I just finished my first show with Velma. It's just so unreal; seeing our names on the marquee, having all of the audience cheering us on and tossing roses at us, and most of all, dancing and singing with the woman who's a goddess in the realm of vaudeville. I think I even saw Mama and Billy in the crowd. Who would've thought they cared to see us? After the show, Velma and I drove back to the apartment without saying much to each other. I thought there would be more celebrating, getting really wasted and at the bar or something, but we were exhausted. I fell asleep on the way, so she carried me back to my bed. When I woke up, Velma was sitting beside me in her blue nightgown and I was still in my dress. "Well someone's up. What'cha think so far about an act together?" Enthusiastically, I replied with a huge smile gracing my face while she giggled to my response. "Look, kid," she said in a sweet, mellow voice. "I know you probably still hate me for reading those things Billy wrote in your diary in court. I just want you to know that he told me to do beforehand and I didn't want to. I thought he was crazy, but when he explained it, it just sounded genius. It ended up working, didn't it?" After tonight, I had almost forgotten about all of that, but I feel a huge amount of relief when she told me. I probably jumped to conclusions. You know what they say about the word "assume", right? Well this is just great. Now, all of these confusing feelings of lust and love come flowing back in a familiar fashion.


	7. Chapter 7 - July 17

**I decided to write this one more like a traditional novel chapter than a diary entry. I dunno, more detail that way. It's really fluffy at the end. This one was a lot of fun to write :)**

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**July 17, 1924**

They gave us a thou from our gig this week! We can finally buy real clothes. I'm now officially head-over-heels in love with my dance partner, and I can finally admit it to myself. I got really drunk at the bar last night and I was about to go home with at least 5 guys; it's a good thing Velma can hold her liquor better than me. I passed out on the way back, so for the fifth time this week, she carried me to bed. Where does she get the strength to do that after every show? Well I am pretty light…..

When I woke up, she greeted me with the same "Hey, kid," reply she'll always say before I go shower and then she goes off to sleep. But instead of the usual routine, the 10 gallons of gin in my system was making me feel ballsy. "Velma….Do you ever think about those times back at the prison when we would…you know….."Even in my hazy state, I had instantly realized what I just said and regretted it. The brunette's eyes sank. "Yeah, sometimes I do…"

An awkward silence filled the air as I was desperately trying to find the right words to say. "Did it really mean anything to you or was it just a phase?" I mumbled. Velma bit her lip. "I thought about you a lot since you were let off. I wanted to go explain everything, but I didn't know where to find you. I asked your ex-husband and he didn't know….I knew you'd be auditioning and stuff like that so I tried to ask all of the club managers around….took me a month to hunt you down."

"You went through all of that trouble just to find me?" A timid smile was drawn from her plump lips. "I care about you, kid. And after I read your diary, only then I knew you felt the same way." Suddenly, a feeling of bliss filled my heart. "I can't believe that you feel….WAIT YOU WHAT?!" It didn't take long for that bliss to convert to rage. "YOU READ MY DIARY?!" Velma started giggling softly. "Well, yeah. I said that Mama gave it to me in court. I read more than that crap Billy wrote." Yeah, I'm such an idiot sometimes. Still mocking me, she nervously muttered, "I kinda knew you'd hate me after the testifying, and even after I explained I knew you wouldn't feel the same way about me again. And you obviously didn't…." She started to turn away. I tried to stand on my toes, but I stumbled and fell flat on my face.

Tenderly, Velma wrapped her arms around my waist and lifted me back onto the bed. I nuzzled my head against her shoulder. "Why would you think that?" The light in Velma's eyes went dim. "You didn't say anything until now, and I was too scared to say anything. I just kind of assumed you weren't interested in me that way anymore…. I thought we were just dance partners now." I scoffed. "Of course I think of you the same way! Yeah, for a while I felt like hated you, but even then I couldn't say that I didn't care about you… It was complicated. It was like I was still in love with you but I didn't want to be because I felt like you used me to avoid getting hanged." Velma grinned, "So you do love me?"

I thought about what I had just said, and then nodded. "Roxie, if the only way for you to win that case was for me to die, I would have done it." Velma's eyes darted around the room, and I noticed that they were staring at an old family photo, with a much younger version of Veronica and herself. "I don't know if it's a good idea for us being together. It seems like I hurt everyone that I love now….."

I shook my head violently. "Maybe that's a risk I'm willing to take. I'm a dangerous person too, remember? I mean, you had a good reason for what you did; I was just pissed that Fred lied to me about making me a star." She raised her eyebrow, sarcastically remarking, "Oh, so you weren't protecting your unborn child?" Playfully punching her arm, I retorted, "Oh shut up!" I pulled her close enough that the tip of our noses met. Our lips were about to meet as well, until the brunette bombshell pulled away.

"You didn't shower yet…Filthy, filthy girl," she teased. We both laughed hysterically. "You should do that now." A naughty smirk swept across her face. "Can I join?" I decided to be a bit flirty. "Sure, but first you have to tell me the password." Velma's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Open sesame?"

Giggling like a school girl, I refused. "Let me give you a hint, the 3 words we've both been too wimpy to say to each other for the last couple months." Her face lit up, more radiant than it had ever been before. "I love you," she purred in my ear. "Password accepted!"


End file.
